| November 27, 2006 Has it really been 12 days since I've written? Guess I just haven't been in the mood to write or just didn't really have the time to bother. Things are still wonderful with Michael. Had family pictures taken on Saturday, so I'll post those as soon as they're available. Had a game night with Michael, Courtney, and Sarah I guess weekend before last. Thanksgiving was Thursday.. Michael came with me to Michael (mom's husband)'s mom's house and had it there. It was alright I guess. Just didn't feel the same at all. Plus Michael (mine) wasn't feeling that great. I think he's going to the doctor again today. I wish he were back to normal already. Poor thing. Stayed at Dixon's with him the night before. Played a lot of Wii weekend before last also. And some this weekend. It's a pretty cool console. Hold the remote like a TV remote and move it around to play. Sorry this is all back and forth, but I'm trying to remember everything and type it as it comes to me. Dixon got the car running that he and Michael worked on for hours upon hours during the summer. It's a nice car, but still has some work to do. Went to church yesterday with Michael and his mom. His mom has loosened up a lot. She had a conversation about Michael's dad with him while we had lunch. Asked for my input at one time and also showed that she cared when I think I was dehydrated. She even called Michael later to check up on US as in me too  Looks like I'm in lol. His best friends love me and I, of course, adore them. And now his mom is starting to take me in. It's a good feeling. Michael and I were both pretty giddy about it. After that, Michael and I went back to his house and did some cleaning. Still have A LOT of work to do, but at least his closets look nice. I'm sure a lot more has happened and a lot more could be said, but I just don't feel like getting into it all. Still not really in the mood to write, but I know that I needed to update big time.
My mood for today:
November 15, 2006
Normal day at work, except it was Wednesday, so I got off about 45 minutes early! Came home and took a shower, then went out to eat at Ruby Tuesday with Michael for dinner. Got lots of kisses tonight! No more sickness  Gah, I love him!
November 14, 2006
Had an up and down day at work. Training afterward. Then came home to spend time with my precious
November 13, 2006
Worked the usual day then spent some time with Michael after he was done with project. He's still got some sickness in him, so we still can't kiss. It's driving me crazy lol It's like instinct to now, but I have to stop myself everytime I try to. 
November 12, 2006
Going to church soon. Pray for him. That's all I ask. Poor guy has been sick for longer than necessary and I know he's got a lot of stress going on. XOXOX
Edit: Went to church then home. Took a good nap then cleaned my room. Tried going to see Michael again, but Mom didn't get home til it was pointless. He's feeling much better now and is back to going to class and work finally! So I'll definitely see him tomorrow
November 11, 2006
Went to Auburn Urgent Care with Michael. After his two clinic visits, he was still sick with a high fever, so he decided to go somewhere else to figure out what the problem was. The doctor there found something different than the other, so he gave him something for the infection, a steroid to help move it along, and a cough suppressant. He seems to be feeling better than before, so hopefully he'll be back on his good feet soon. Having some issues with his mom, and to him that's normal, but 2 weeks of her being here, it's starting to feel like a blow to the stomach and I'm not comfortable. I don't really have a problem with her as a person, but her need to control is just not tolerable for me. I grew up to do what I want, when I want to, unless given a good reason not to. In doing so, I made the right choices, most of the time and am learning to be independent. It's not easy because the real world is really hard, but I'm doing my best. I just hope that Michael can learn to stand up for what he wants in life. I've definitely seen a change the past couple of days, but that's only making her try harder. I don't know. I guess we'll see how things go. Going to church in the morning, so that and his health will be on the top of my prayer list.
November 10, 2006
Had a full day today at work. Since it's Veteran's Day, there's no real school.. including Pre-K. I ended up going in at 9:30am ET instead of 12:30pm ET and worked until 6:30pm ET with an hour lunch break. After work, I went to Michael's again. He still had a fever today, got up to 102, but it was back down to 99.8 around the time that I left. Hopefully he'll be better soon. I hate seeing him like this and even more so, being couch potatoes isn't as relaxing as it started out to be. Just glad it's Friday! Doing taxes in the morning with Mom.. blah! And I'll see Michael sometime hopefully. Until next time.. XOXOX
November 9, 2006
At Grandpa's like every other morning this week. I feel like I'm imposing, but really.. they just sit around the house watching news unless they have one of us grandchildren to take somewhere. But yeah, I got plenty of sleep last night for once in quite a while. 7 and a half hours! Went to bed at 10:30 and got up at 6:00. Nothing has happened so far, so I'll write later when/if anything happens.
Edit: Just had to share this part of Michael and I's conversation...
Michael: -sigh-
Me: 
Michael: Can you love someone too much?
Me:not if they love you the same 
Michael: Good because i think this person does 
Me: nope because i love you just as much
Michael:
Michael: -muah-
Michael: Yup we're disgusting... Lol
Me: yeah we are but i wouldn't want it any other way 
Later on November 8, 2006
Michael is still pretty sick. Had a 101.6 fever and was having trouble swallowing. My poor baby. His mom is still in town and pretty much put her foot down on letting him drive anywhere. Which with that kind of fever is definitely understandable. So I got my mom to take me over to his house to somewhat take care of him for a few hours until she picked me up again so that she could go to bed lol. After getting home, I texted with him for about an hour and a half. Going to bed now at 10:30 for the first time in quite a while.
November 8, 2006
I came across this and read it thoroughly. I related to most of these. It's funny the things that people notice when you, as the victim, have no idea it's going on until it's too late. I used to be most of these girls. I used to fall for the bad guy who inevitably broke me. I'm just now learning to feel secure in a relationship. I've become very insecure over the years due to the men I've chosen to date. It is just now that I'm with a "nice guy" and ya know what.. I've never been happier and it's the best kind of "high on life" feeling. Trust me, I know them all, but this is by far the best kind. Read, relate, pity, understand, realize... do what you need to do and take it as you will.
"Ah, the age-old question of why girls like the bad boys instead of nice guys. I've come up with some reasons why this happens. Remember these are gross generalizations but there is a kernel of truth to them. Most of this is based on years of observation, hearing girls cry on my shoulder on week and then make the same dating mistake the next week. 1) Bad boys aren't the type of guys her parents would like. By dating such a person, the girl gets to feel independent (this is more of a reason for high school girls than college girls) and start defining boundaries in her relationship with her parents. 2) Some girls lack the ability to be bad without help. They may want to be wild and crazy but they just don't know how. Dating a bad boy lets them do this. This happens more with college girls who have found a great deal of freedom now that they are away from their parents (and the judging eyes of the rest of their community) but don't know what to do with it. 3) Bad boys make girls feel special. When a nice guy treats a girl well, she likes it but it doesn't make her feel all that special since nice guys are nice to everyone. However, if she dates an a$#hole who treats most people like dirt, she feels she must be important when he shows his sensitive side and does a nice guy thing in private. 4) Bad boys are more exciting. Many so called nice guys are about as interesting as watching paint dry. They have no stories to tell, they aren't creative about things to do on a date, and they're too shy to open up and find common ground with a girl. Bad boys on the other hand always have lots of stories (even if more aren't true), have friends with strange and crazy personalities, are always up to something different, and have such strong personalities that they suck the girl into who they are, thus creating a common ground, even if it is totally centered around the guy. This is probably the worst rule because it is only true maybe half the time. Lots of bad boys like sitting on the couch and have no ambition to get up and there are lots of good guys are a laugh a minute to be around. 5) Nice guys aren't so nice and bad boys aren't as bad as they seem. Most people don't fit easily in either of these categories. Some guys get labeled a bad boy because of jealously from other guys, vindictive ex-girlfriends, or because they are in some way different from the majority of society. Many nice guys are labeled that way because they never have been in a situation where they could be a creep. Many of them, once they find someone to date, pull the same garbage that the so-called bad boys pull. Sure in some cases it is quite obvious that a person fits well in one of these categories but most of the time it is not. Which brings us to... 6) Girls aren't as good as guys at figuring out who is the nice guy and who is the bad boy. Think about it, we are in the perfect position to know because guys aren't on guard about who they are when hanging out with other guys. How many times have you known one of your friends was cheating on his girlfriend, treated her poorly, or is just a total player? Girls don't get this information so they don't know what to watch for. It seems like second nature to us that the guy one of our female friends is dating is a grade 'A' creep because we see all the signs but the girls don't know the signs and can only learn them the hard way. Sadly, if you try to clue them in to the signs they won't believe you because they want so badly for the relationship to work. And girls, how many times has it been obvious to you that the girl one of your friends is dating is trash but the guy can’t see it? Same thing… 7) Insecurity. Many times the girl knows the guy isn't going to treat her well and isn't a great catch. Girls with insecurity get scared real easily in a good relationship because they don't feel they deserve to be treated so well and thinks it is only a matter of time before the guy leaves when he gets to know the girl really well. This is one of the saddest situations because the relationship with the bad boy only reinforces the girl's poor self-image when the guy eventually cheats on her, takes off, or treats her like dirt. And in most cases the girl's insecurities are a poor reflection of who she is. Some of the most wonderful women with the most to offer have fallen into this category. Not sure why this is so, but it is quite sad. 8) Many girls like to have a project to work on. It is in a woman's nature to want to have someone to mother. The bad boy is a great project for the girl. If she can change him to be the guy she dreams of, it satisfies her need to help someone to grow."
November 7, 2006
Had work then training. Training was about child abuse tonight. I heard so many awful stories. I'll mention 3. Firstly, who knew that children could get STDs? There was a 3 month old... think about this... 3 months old. Younger than your baby Shannon, and eve moreso, my baby sister... with gonorrhea. Second story I'll recall was a 5 year old girl. 5 years old. At 5, you don't know anything about much. At least when it comes to sex and the physical body. She sat up in court and told 12 jurers about how her step dad would put his "tree with coconuts" in her "pocket book" and "milk" would come out. Due to the fact that there was little proof and that the child did not say with technical words (maybe because she has no idea what a penis and genitals are and doesn't know what her vagina is) ... they let him go. What's worse, they gave her back to him. And my poor trainer had to watch her get into the same elevator with this man and walk away remembering for the rest of her life and wonder what happened to that child. Third story was about a boy named Terrell Peterson. In 1998, this 5 year old boy was supposedly beaten to death. To be honest, he could have died by battery, starvation, pain through burns, or as his attourney said, he just gave up. His mother was a crack addict and passed away. DFACS encouraged another family to take him. His half brother and sister's grandmother took him in as her foster child. There were no monthly visits, in fact, there were rarely any visits at all. After his death, they found that he was tied up "a lot" by the use of panty hose. They found a list written by his foster mother, "He gets a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, lunch he gets grits, and dinner he gets grits. His hands are always tied." While at preschool, he would rummage through trashcans, looking for food. He was taken to the ER one day after being beaten. His foster mother was arrested and at her trial, his caseworker didn't bring him, due to this, case dismissed. His caseworker didn't come back to fix her error, instead she wrote a memo saying that the judge dismissed the case after hearing all of the evidence and determined no child abuse. This of course wasn't true, but who knew, right? Soon after, his teacher found that his foot was burned. His foster mother was so mad about being arrested that she burned the flesh off the bottom of his feet. He had to have skin transplanted from his hip to his feet so that he could walk. So basically, this child was tied, beaten, burned, and starved until finally he died, possibly from a blow to the head. And the few people that could save him, turned their backs, in fact, they covered mistakes with lies that would lead to his death. Finally, someone anonymously sent his files to his attourney which uncovered the lies and now know the truth of what led to poor Terrell's death at 5 years old. To read more on this story, go here. After training and hearing about all of these terrible things, I go home to spend time with Michael. He's pretty sick right now, and his fever was pretty high, so I bundled him up, put a cold wash cloth on his head, gave him vitamins, pain/fever reducers, and tried to make him as comfortable as possible. He looked so pitiful, but I'm glad I can be here for him and nurture him the best way that I can. He already went to the clinic and got medication, but he's going to go again today because he's not feeling better. Poor baby. I wish there was more I could do. November 6, 2005
Nothing special today. Got up early. TMed Michael throughout the morning. Worked until 6:30ish. Came home. He's sick and his mom is still in town, so I won't be seeing him today. Not really in the mood to go out with anyone, so looks like a night in bumming around the house. That is all. xoxo
November 5, 2006
Well, I haven't had internet for the last few days. I use my sister's laptop and she was out of town for the weekend.
Thursday night, Michael, Courtney, and I had dinner at Buffalo Connection, walked around the mall, then went to the movie theater to see Saw III. AWESOME movie! I loved it After that Michael and I had a beautiful talk after a discomforting misunderstanding in which I mentioned in my last post.
Friday night after work, Michael picked me up and we went to T-Mobile and got me a phone and put it on his family plan. Just cheaper and easier that way. But yay, I have a cell phone! I haven't had one since I moved back in June. After that, we went to a Mexican restaurant, Durango's, for dinner with Ray, Dixon, and the Ultimate team. Pretty bad service. Wouldn't recommend the place. After that, Michael and I had a serious talk about religion, views, wants, etc. It was very emotional because I didn't really grow up very religious. I grew up beliving in God, but that's about as far as that went. I've managed to develop a relationship with God, but never have known much about religion itself. We went to WalMart after our talk and he bought me a Bible since I left mine at my dad's. I plan to start reading it in my spare time.
Yesterday, Michael and I went to a BBQ restaurant, Roger's, for lunch. We planned on going to Jack's for Michael to do some side work after that. To our surprise, a postal worker notices that Michael is wearing an orange Auburn sweatshirt, comes over, compliments his sweatshirt and asks if we want to go to the game 'today'. We both look at him in confusion, and he goes, "Here, go to the game!" Throwing down 2 tickets to the game, saying "I was given these tickets, but I have to work, so I can't go, you should go." and then walks out. 
Turns out, they were really good seats! But too bad it wasn't that great of a game, so we left at halftime. Awesome that we got tickets that way though I love how some people still do things like that. I even noticed on the way to the restaurant that someone pulled over to help someone on the side of the road. Also, on the way to the restaurant, I saw a tree blowing in the "wind" but it was the only one moving, meaning there was no wind. But the tree was blowing and it's leaves were flying out in front of us while driving. So, my noticing the kindness of some people and being happy about it, our relationship building in the right way, the tree moving with no wind, then the tickets... I really feel that God is speaking to us. And these are all good things, so I think He's proud of us And I hope, proud of me..
Today, I went out with Courtney. We planned to get our hair cuts/trimmed and I needed a manicure. So we got to Great Clips - went there because I had coupons - and they said there was a 45 minute wait. I thought, "Great, now I can go get my easy manicure, should be good timing." We then, go look for a nail salon, but seems everyone is closed on Sunday. Nope, we found one! They lotion up my hands, and put the warmers on, then I wait...and wait...and wait... for 45 minutes and they finally get to me, taking 30 minutes to do a crap job. She wants me to dry my nails, but I'm like, "No, I can't, I have to go." We were late for our hair appointment. So we get there and wait about 30 minutes to finally get our haircuts. It turned out nicely, but she didn't even finish drying my hair so my hair was a mess until I got home and decide to flat iron it. Now, I'm just hanging out at my house. Michael is working on a school project and has been for the past 3 plus hours. Poor guy. He works so hard. With work, projects for work, side work, school, homework, projects for school, his mom coming to town and staying with him all the time, managing to spend a good amount of time with his needy girlfriend lol plus somehow getting time to eat and sleep. I don't know how he does it, but that's a big part of what makes him so wonderful. He does all he can to get things done, make people happy, and stay healthy. Hopefully I make him happy enough to where he isn't just giving so much and not getting enough back. Though, he hasn't been feeling well today. I plan to do my best to get him back to feeling well without him getting actually sick. He has enough to deal with right now, being sick doesn't need to be added to the pile. I really hope I help him through everything as much as he does for me. I know that I try to and give my all for this relationship, I just want it to be enough, or even more than enough. Well, that's it for now. I'll update soon as usual
Novermber 3, 2006
I have good things to say and I have bad things to say. My sister's wedding has been called off due to personal issues and situations. Wonder what will happen to the dresses and how money spent will be reimbursed. I really want that dress though. It's so elegant and formal and fits perfectly. I hope I can keep it. I plan to ask in a minute. It's just so sad to think about because what if I were in that situation. What if I had thought I found the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with and then have something happen to ruin everything and have that dream be shot to the ground. I would crumble because that's the only dream that keeps me going. To find that one person that you could spend the rest of your life with, get married, have children, and grow old together happily. It's ridiculously crazy, but I would bet a lot on the fact that I feel I have found that person. Most people would look at me like I'm insane right now and that's understandable, but when it's right.. it's right. I'm sure of it, but we'll see through time. I've just never been happier. I've never been mad at him, I've never been hurt by him, we never argue, we have our differences, yes, but that's what makes us so great because we can surprise each other and love the things that are different from each other. There was a slight minute where I misunderstood his meaning in something that he said last night and was in discomfort by it, but he quickly made me see his true meaning and it was the most beautiful thing. I actually got teary eyed. He stopped everything to look me directly in the eyes and open up and show me his heart. His incredibly caring heart. He's such a beautiful person. It's a shame not everyone knows and it's even more a shame that he doesn't completely see what I see. He will though.. in time Gosh.. I've seriously never been happier with someone than I am with him. I never knew a man like him really existed. Everything I've always prayed for and wanted in someone.. he is and so much more. It's amazing. I wish there were better words than "amazing, incredible, wonderful, etc" because they don't compare to the feeling I feel. No where near the true greatness of my happiness. I was so overwhelmed by it last night that I was shivering. I've only shivered like that due to depression and/or anger, but I'm just that happy to where my body couldn't handle it all at that moment. Which explains why I compared my heart to a finale firework show. 
Well, I suppose that's all for now. Until next time XOXOX
November 2, 2006 Well, we took pictures on Halloween. Didn't all come out that great, especially since the one of all 3 of us kept cutting Michael's head lol. But here are a few:  
I'm so happy it's disgusting lol Later on November 1, 2006 I was just realizing (again - because I realize this everytime) how observant and responsive Michael is. If I casually mention, talk about, or suggest anything, no matter what it is, within a week, he's done something about it. I've noticed this since the beginning. Starting with a time that I randomly blurted that I wanted some Krystal. I wasn't hinting or anything about it. He was at work and I was just talking to him online. That night, he asked to come see me, and guess what he brought with him.. Krystal for me. Another time, I was talking to his best friend, Jennifer, about BBQ and that I love ribs and wings. The other day, he randomly brought me to a BBQ restaurant for lunch. I mentioned to him that he should add more recent pictures to his Myspace because he has plenty of open spots and we've taken pictures in the past few weeks. And he plans to add them when he gets back to a computer. And even when I don't say anything, he'll do something that I would have wanted him to do/say/want and it was just something that he said/did on his own. Definitely surprises me because I'm not used to this. If I ever wanted something in the past, I would practically have to beg for it and wouldn't get it for weeks or months, if I got it at all. I'm just.. happy and content. Moreso than ever before and it's crazy, but I love it so much! November 1, 2006 Well, last night was fun! Went out with Michael and Marchant (one of Michael's best friends). We went to Buffalo's for drinks and fries lol. Then we headed to Skybar where more drinks were taken. There was a live band in the back, so we went and danced in the crowd. I guess having so many drinks in so little time, it all hit me at once and instead of getting all crazy and silly, I just got REALLY dizzy, so I had to go sit down for about 10-20 minutes. Michael sat with me and just rubbed my back and put ice on my neck. After that, I was fine, and we went back and watched the costume contest. Marchant entered just because. He was wearing a zoot suit from the 20s. He looked great on stage, but they didn't give him a song so unfortunately it was like crickets chirping. Some of the really good costumes (in my opinion) didn't really get a good response. But the outrageous and idiotic ones definitely got cheering. Some ideas were just so off the wall random, but they were great! I'm not sure who won though because we decided to just leave. There were over 100 entries. It was really late anyhow. I didn't get home until around 2. And had to get up at 5:30 this morning. Welp, that's it for now. XOXOX October 31, 2006
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! I thought that I had training tonight, but I called earlier to verify and was told that there was no class tonight for Halloween Which means I have more time to get ready! I got a sexy witch costume on Saturday with Michael. He's going to be the black knight of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. We procrastinated until a few days before hand, so we didn't get exactly what we wanted, but whatever works Gosh, I forgot how nice it is to write in this thing. I have been slacking for over a year now, but at least I was smart enough to keep it  Anyway, not sure what the plan is for tonight, but I'm sure we'll be all over the place. Either way, should be fun. Hope everyone has a great Halloween!
October 30, 2006 While sitting in the car at Sonic down the road with Michael, we managed to do a few things in a sequence and we came to realize that we've become... the disgustingly cute couple. You know that couple. The one where they do incredibly cute yet horribly annoying things with each other. Where you look at them and think, 'I wish I had that' but at the same time think 'God, I wish they would get a room or at least get out of my sight, so I don't have to see it'. We were giving each other the googly eyed look which of course came with a big grin attached. He managed to get ice cream on his nose, and I playfully licked it off. And we ended it with laughing at each other's really dumb jokes that would normally make no sense to anyone or would make sense, just not funny enough to actually laugh at. After we noticed this chain, we then went on about how disgusting we are and how much we love it anyway. I haven't written down my thoughts like this in a very long time and it's not in poetry form, but I had the urge, so TADA. The End. October 29, 2006 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL! I hope you got everything you wanted and more
 October 28, 2006
Yep, still crazy happy, but I LOVE it! Hope everyone's doing wonderfully :) XOXOX
Here are some pictures that we've taken together: 
October 23, 2006 I GOT FLOWERS!!! 
Here's what they look like now (October 29, 2006) 
October 20, 2006
Falling
I'm nervous to feel deserved
Of the signs saying go
I'm getting what i'm wanting
So i'm letting you know
That i'm starting to fall
I'm falling, falling for you
You are so wonderful
I'm falling hard and true
I'm writing once again
And it feels all too right
You race through my mind
Thinking of you at night
I don't want to wonder
So tell me all you can
I want to know it all
With your hand in my hand
Cuz i'm starting to fall
I'm falling, falling for you
You are so wonderful
I'm falling hard and true
October 16, 2006
You and Me
Where've you been all along
I've been drowning without you
Doing everything wrong
And not knowing what to do
I'm no longer in the rain
You rid my heart of fear
This may have been worth the pain
My mind has been so clear
Still unsure of what's to come
But I'm in it for keeps
I will no longer feel numb
Won't be the girl that weeps
The sun shines on me today
I'm no longer afraid
Cuz the clouds have gone away
You're why this smile was made
So I'll blame you for the good
You're so guilty I'd say
You'd take it all if you could
I might let you one day
All until then, I'll just smile
Watch you smile back at me
And I'll hold you for a while
Time will tell, we'll just see
I'm ready for what's ahead
Just hold on, let it be
Waiting for my walls to shed
Right now, it's you and me
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